


Y'know, Sherlock Holmes do actually have feelings

by scoutbokmal



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Sherlock, Awesome Molly, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-05-09 02:52:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5522708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scoutbokmal/pseuds/scoutbokmal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock had known since his teens that he was asexual. Well, he hadn’t had a name for it back then but he had known that he didn’t have the same drive as the rest of his peers. He also was reserved when it came to physical contact, and didn’t like people getting to close to him. The only friends closer than mere acquaintances outside family he had ever had was John Watson and before that Victor Trevor during university and Olof Eskilsson during his childhood. Mrs. Hudson he regarded like family for some reason. Then there were Molly Hooper. He honestly didn’t know what to do about his feelings for her. She made him warm inside, and unlike everyone else he did want to initiate physical contact with her; maybe even start a romantic relationship with her. But he knew what would be expected of him, and knowing that Molly was a sexually active being he didn’t dare to take their friendship further. He kept her at arm’s length just to be sure he didn’t do anything foolish, such as even hint at the depth of his feelings for her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter one: Going to Mollys

**Author's Note:**

> The text in italics is meant to represent Sherlocks thoughts (there probably won't be much of that as they are a bit hard to come up with). This is the first fic i upload, so I am thankful for responses about how you feel about it. Also, seeing as I haven't had this brit-picked or betaed there might be some errors. If you notice any you are welcome to point them out so I can correct them.  
> The rating is probably going to change as I continue the story.

When he finally arrived at her apartment building he stepped out of the cab and paid the driver. Then he stood at the pavement outside and paced back and forth for a long time. It wasn’t until after the fall and following escapades he realized fully how serious his feelings were towards her. But it was first when he was told that he was likely not to return from his exile, that he realized that it was now or never. At the moment he was sat in the living room. He bolted op, grabbed his coat and ran downstairs, shouting “I’m going out” to Mrs. Hudson. When he was out the door he hailed a cab and gave Molly’s address to the driver. In the cab he had plenty of time to think, and he almost told the driver to turn around several times when he nearly got too nervous to continue with his quest.

_whatifyouarewrongwhatifshedoesntlikeyouwhatifshewillhatemenowthatiamamurderercondemnedmurderersarepredominantelymaleperhapsbecausefemalecounterpartssmarterplussheprobablywontstayaftershelearnsthatyouareasexualsheisafullyfunctinalfemaleofthehumanspeciesshewillwantnocravesexinarelationshipandsheprobablyreadjaninesarticlesandexpectmetobesomekindofsexgodshewilltotallyjudgeyoushecanreadyouthiscanonlyendindisasteryouwontbeabletohandlerejectionyouwillfallbackintooldhabitssomepeoplewouldbeecstaticaboutthatyouwouldmakefrontpageheadlines”fakegeniusfakedhisowndeathnowmurdererandrelapsedjunkie_

He knocked at her door, and started pacing on her porch.

_blueshirtgaybuthasgirfriendtocoverupstrictlyreligiusfamilynewspapermancantbakelovestobakewifekidshappyfamilywhatwouldjohnsaygottoprotectjohnandmaryandmrshudsonandlestradeandmollyshewillhatemeicanthandlethiswhatifshekicksmeoutthereisnootherwaythiswillendjohnhasmarycanttroublehimwiththistoowhatwiththeirbabyonthewayitsagirlhavetoprotecthertoowonderwhatshewillbecalledbutmollyisnicewhatifshaonlywouldplaybecauseshereadsmeandseeithinkiwilldieidontwanttodieiwantedbeforethisnoiseiswhyistarteddrugscantstartdrugsagainjohnlestraemrshudsonmollyparentsdissapointedbrotheridontknowshippedawaytoinstitutioncanthandlethatagainimustturnaroundbutbrotherwouldseethinkiamacowardalreadythinksiammoronfallingforsentimentsentimentisachemicaldefectinthelosingsideiamalreadylosingiamhavinganameltdowncanthaveitnow_

At that point molly opened the door and saw him standing there and said “come in! I will have the kettle boiling in no time”

_whatisitwithpeopleandmakingteabutdrinkingteadefenitelyhaveacalmingefecsodoesmakingitbostonteapartywasin1773americansdressedasindiansthrewteaintheocean_

When he had entered she looked him over “You look a real mess. Take some deep breaths, sit down, and the tea will be ready in just a few minutes. You look like you really need a chat, I’ll be back in a moment.” Sherlock sat down in her sofa, leaned back and just focused on breathing. After a while his thoughts started to slow down and settle. When she came back with the tea tray, he was much calmer and somewhat relaxed; looking straight ahead at nothing in particular. Molly put the tray down on the coffee table and sat herself next to him in the sofa. “So, what happened?” she said, and he answered “I betrayed my brother and my country and shot a finance mogul that owned several newspapers” he answered in a monotone voice, as if it had been repeated far to many times. “I mean, in your own words” “I don’t know where to begin, I probably should start with that this man was a master blackmailer, who blackmailed Mary to get to Mycroft through John and me; and Mary isn’t who she seems…” and so his story was rolled out with few interruptions from Molly when she needed clarification on something. When he finally had gotten it all out of himself, he felt a strange sort of emptiness inside of him, that wasn’t all bad. Sherlock also discovered that he had tears trickling down his cheeks and wiped them away embarrassed. Molly saw this and said “Meltdown?". Sherlock nodded. "Ok, is it okay if I stay here?". Sherlock nodded again. "....No ..... touch" Sherlock managed to say. This time it was Molly's turn to nod. "You have something more to tell me, but I can wait untill you are ready to tell me". Sherlock seemed to visibly relax at that.

 


	2. Chapter two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, italics are supposed to be Sherlocks writing  
> Big thanks to satin_doll for giving me motivation to update this story

When Sherlock came back to the living room he sat back down in the sofa with Molly.

“So, what is it you have on your heart?” she inquired.

He seemed to have difficulties starting to speak, so she asked him “Could you write it down, perhaps?” He nodded, and she went to find paper and pen. When she came back she offered them to Sherlock, and he accepted them and started writing. He took his time, crumpling some of the notebook pages he used. But after some time he finished and gave the notebook to Molly. _I’m quite certain my feelings for you go beyond those of consulting detective and pathologist, also deeper than between merely friends. Molly Hooper, I think I might be in love with you._ When she had read what he had written she looked up at him. He was looking down into his lap and fidgeting hands. “Sherlock Holmes” she said “I believe that it is reciprocated “At this, Sherlock looked up, and realizing she was serious, cracked a tentative smile. He started scribbling again. After a while he gave Molly the following note: _I wanted you to know, before I took off. And I also wanted to have someone to come back to. John has his Mary now. Also, I wanted you to know. If the worst would happen._ “Well, lets hope it doesn’t. How long is this mission of yours gonna be?” _Mycroft reckons it will be six months. He’s quite good at estimating that kind of stuff._ “Just promise me two things, Sherlock. Don’t get killed and please send postcards.” _What happened to “stay out of trouble and don’t get hurt?_ “I know you to well to hope that you would stay out of trouble” _Well then, I promise to do my best to stay alive and send postcards. And call if I get the opportunity._ “I will hold you to it. And it will only be half a year or so until we will see each other again.” Molly noticed a subtle shift from Sherlock, but didn’t think very much of it. She forgot it completely when Sherlock started leaning towards her, and she noticed how drained he looked. “Come on, lets get you to bed. You have a day of travel ahead of you, and I know how your sleeping habits get when you are fully focused on something. Thinking of it, I will make us both a fry-up in the morning, as your eating habits tend to suffer too.” “Stay with me” he whispered, sounding almost ashamed. “What do you mean?” “Don’t want to be alone” “Sure, I will stay. Did you bring pajamas, a change of clothes?” “Forgot” “I think I might still have something of Tom’s left, I’ll see what I can find. I won’t leave the house.” She returned to him after a while with a pair of old track bottoms and an equally old and worn T-shirt. “I hope those will fit you” “Thanks” “If you go to the bathroom and change, I will get into my pajamas as well, you can come join me when you feel ready.” They parted, Sherlock going into the bathroom to change and Molly doing the same in her bedroom. When Sherlock joined her in her bedroom later, he carefully sat down on the side he deduced she didn’t prefer. She joined him on the bed, pulled down the covers, laid down and patted the cushion beside hers on the bed. He slowly, hesitantly, joined her under the covers, careful to keep to “his” side of the bed. After some time, including a bit of tossing and turning on Sherlock’s behalf, Molly finally spoke up in a whisper “Don’t be afraid, I won’t judge.” At that, he slowly moved towards her, until he was able to lie down more comfortably. Both of them fell asleep shortly thereafter. For Sherlock, this was the first time in he didn’t know how long he was able to sleep an entire night without nightmares, or sleeping lightly and waking up at the smallest of sounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankks for reading!  
> If you have any opinions on my work, feel free to share them with me. Also, of you have ideas for tags that I should add, please let me know in the comments.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Hopefully you enjoyed it, and if so, feel free to tell me. If you didn't, why are you down here?


End file.
